49 Ways to Change Your Home

  1. Seal all doors and windows and fill with milk
  2. make every room a kitchen
  3. invite 10 architects to change the lightbulbs
  4. replace the smell of freshly baked bread with burnt toast
  5. (if rural) install large neon “Baboon Disco” to the exterior
  6. (if urban)encourage fungal growth both inside and out
  7. every 12 hrs invite someone new to co-habit
  8. put it on wheels
  9. replace the front door handle with a vibrator
  10. never dispose of used tissues
  11. rebuild it in Venice
  12. give it masts and sails
  13. make it a public library
  14. reduce the scale of all internal furnishings by 2%
  15. install gargoyles on the gables
  16. run a motorway through it
  17. flatten every building that surrounds it within a 20km radius
  18. encourage subsidance
  19. rent it out to an obscure sect
  20. bathe it in UV lights to expose its dandruff
  21. turn it into a hatchery for rare moths
  22. tell the police it’s a drugs factory
  23. paint the doorsteps with nail varnish
  24. turn it into a giant game of jenga
  25. invite a TV company to expose it to public ridicule
  26. bury it in compost and water regularly
  27. turn it into a creche without adult supervision
  28. advertise it for sale at eight times its market value
  29. add a new storey every 9 months
  30. exchange the chimneys for bell-towers
  31. replace the radiators with fish tanks
  32. make every nook and cranny a breeding place for germs
  33. put cardboard replicas of dead celebrities in every window
  34. turn one gable end into a ski slope
  35. lose it in a game of cards
  36. hire an orchestra to replace the doorbell
  37. cut a hole through the wall where the bathroom mirror used to be – into the house next door
  38. install a continuous sound loop of breaking crockery
  39. stop paying the electricity bills
  40. if it has a staircase – remove it
  41. if it has no staircase – install several
  42. amplify the low hum emitting from the fridge
  43. hack Google Earth and put a black dot where your home should be
  44. raffle the entire contents
  45. lie about its age
  46. charge people to enter
  47. excavate the living-room floor to a depth of 50cm and fill with sump-oil
  48. make every room -40º
  49. leave and never return
  50. …(Your suggestion here)…

This Exercise was Contributed by Stephen Brandes.

This exercise was contributed by Stephen Brandes (http://www.stephenbrandes.com/).

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